How we identify ourselves

It is helpful to reflect on our own self-images, assumptions, and identifications and how they influence our attitudes and behaviors toward others.
Note: This process is based on self-assessment and self-reporting. Introspective reflection can be helpful, but has distinct limitations and inherent bias. For a more objective assessment, we can use various tests, tools and games that look beneath our own implicit assumptions.

Suggested Exercises

Use a journal to reflect on the following areas.
Questions to ask myself:
  • How much am I invested in these labels and systems?
  • How do I evaluate or assess the worth of others based on them?
Who am I?
  • Self-Concept
  • Mental States
  • Sexual Identity
  • Sexual orientation
  • Gender Identity
  • Social Roles
  • Age group
My Profile
  • Learning process and styles
  • Personality traits
  • Temperament
  • Unique brain pattern
  • Sleep patterns
  • Learning differences
  • Habits
Personality qualities
Which terms apply:
  • Shy, introverted
  • Outgoing
  • Romantic
  • Resilient
  • Playful, serious, silly
  • Sensitive to rejection
  • Easily embarrassed
How do I see myself?
  • Appearance
  • Somatic and body images
  • Self-concept
Psychological Drives
  • What are my dreams?
  • Aspirations
  • Needs
  • Motives
  • Motivations
  • Fears
  • What am I afraid of?
  • What embarrasses me?
  • What makes me feel nostalgic or sentimental

Preferences and tastes

What is my Esthetic Palette?
  • Favorite fashions and styles
  • Types of art 
  • Forms of self-expression
  • Favorite food and cuisine
  • What foods do I dislike?
  • Type of architecture
  • Climate and nature
  • Games and sports
Mainstream and popular culture
  • Favorite TV shows
  • Movies that have influenced me
As child:
  • Favorites: toys
  • Favorite stories
As a youth:
  • Music
  • Fashions
  • Celebrity idols
What is cool? 
How has my view of what is cool changed over time?
Where do I belong?
  • Family
  • Culture
  • Ethnicity
  • Nationality
  • Community
  • Neighborhood
  • Support System
  • Generation of peers
  • Friendships
  • Teams
  • Parties
  • Clubs
  • Workplace
How I became myself
Nature and genetics
Nurture and upbringing
Environment and culture
  • Cultural and ethnic roots 
  • Heritage and family background
  • Legacies
  • Parenting styles
  • Expectations
  • How was I disciplined?
  • Exposure to diverse experience
  • Traumas and losses
  • Key life passages
Comparing myself with others
  • Status or Stigma
  • Achievements
  • Laurels
  • Appearance
  • Popularity
How I judge others
  • Do they belong to my group?
  • Are they an outsider?
  • Do I dislike how they "look"?
How do I judge myself?
  • Worth and merit
  • Potential
  • Quality
  • Character
  • Accomplishments
  • Intelligence
What are my Values?
  • Ethical Values
  • Professed moral code
  • Religious and spiritual values and traditions
  • Rituals and practices
Structures of Meaning
  • Worldviews
  • Belief Systems
  • Values
  • Schema
  • Attitudes
  • Opinions
  • Premises 
  • Heuristics
Ideological Systems
  • Political identity
  • Economic philosophy
  • Thinkers that have influenced me
  • Heroes
  • Myths
How I have changed over time
  • How have my ideals changed?
  • Conversion experiences
  • Epiphanies
  • Disappointments
  • Growing up and letting go of past beliefs
What do I know?
Educational Background
Areas of expertise
  • What are my talents?
  • What are my skills?
  • Am I a self-directed learner?
  • What would I like to improve?
  • Do I see myself accurately?
  • How do I know?
  • What news sources do I regularly read, watch or listen to?
  • Which media figures do I most trust?
  • Why do I find them credible?
  • What beliefs or values am I very attached to—and afraid to question?
  • Have I ever changed a cherished view after examining disconfirming evidence?
  • Have I ever discovered that I held an unwarranted prejudice toward a particular group or culture?
  • Has anyone spread a mean or insulting rumor about me?
  • Has anyone betrayed my confidential sharing?
  • Have I felt rejected or not included by a group I wanted to join?